You Are Never Too Drunk

Today marks the three month anniversary of my arrival in Korea. I'd say things are going really well. I no longer notice that I look completely different from everyone else. Every time I see another foreigner, I stare at them in wonder before remembering that they're probably doing the same thing to me. I've figured out how to pay my bills (type in some numbers at the bank), order food (point at stuff and say "give me" in Korean), use public transportation, and even buy food. I've become pretty good at cooking for myself and substituting Korean ingredients when the ones I'm used to using can't be found. I've got a good relationship with most of my students, and a few of them have even told me that they don't want to move up to the next level of English if that means I can't be their teacher anymore. This past week, we gave the students a break and let them play and watch movies for the last hour of class. I decided to show my students Star Wars, and they LOVED it. (The best way to tell if your child is normal is to see if they like Star Wars. If they don't, your child probably has been replaced by an unfeeling robot, and you need to seek immediate help.) I've done a fair amount of shopping to supplement my wardrobe and to make up for all the weight I've lost since arrival. Korean fashion is fantastic.

A few weeks ago, one of my good friends from Notre Dame came to visit. Practicing the Korean way of life, most of our time was spent shopping, eating, and drinking. I tell you this so that I may introduce you to one of Korea's delightful little blemishes. There are either no laws governing the consumption of alcohol or Korea just doesn't care. I suspect it is the latter. For example, if you're too cheap or too disinterested in the ambiance of sitting in a bar, you can just stumble on over to your favorite convenience store, purchase your favorite adult beverage, and pop a squat outside that very convenience store to enjoy that very beverage. Or you can sit on the sidewalk. Or on your car. Or in your car. Or in the middle of the road (though I advise you against it.) Or, if sitting isn't your thing, you can just stroll down the street and treat the journey from one 7-eleven to the next like your own personal bar-crawl. When you get tired of walking or sitting, just step inside a noraebang (karaoke room). The more alcohol you order, the more time you have to belt out your favorite rock hits of the 90s. Feeling tired? Go get some coffee. It's 2 AM, so the coffee is extra fresh and business is booming. While you're waiting for your coffee, enjoy a cigarette or two because smokers aren't treated like social pariah in this country. Hungry? Go get something fried from any of the many street vendors. You might not know what it is you're eating, but it will taste delicious. And if you're concerned that you're too drunk right now, don't worry. You aren't. Somewhere, probably somewhere close by, there is a Korean man who is way more drunk than you will ever be in your entire life.

Like this Korean man, for example.

So what I'm saying is, If you're looking for a good time, Korea is the place to be. Life here isn't without its setbacks, but all in all, it's pretty great.