They Call Me Mother Theresa: Things My Students Say (Part II)

Well, it's a new term. And with a new term comes new students with new and increasingly ridiculous things to say. So here we go.

Me: "Hello, I'm your teacher. You can call me Teacher Theresa."
Student: "Mother Theresa?????"
Me: "No, I am not nice enough to be Mother Theresa."
Student: "No, teacher. I think you are nice enough."
Later...
Student: "Teacher, are you married?"
Me: "No."
Student: "Neither was Mother Theresa! Teacher, I think you are Mother Theresa!"

During a listening exercise, we heard a story of a man who had the end of his middle finger cut off. The students were concerned, not for the man, but rather for his new inability to flick people off. When a new medical procedure allowed the man to regrow his finger, the students were relieved.
Me: "So what happened to the man?"
Students: "He grew his finger back!"
Me: "That's right!"
Student: "Now he can...you know, teacher. Use his middle finger..."
Me: "I don't think he would do that. He's a nice, old man."
Student: "No, I think he will. He is a man."

Me: "The Ancient Egyptians used to pay people in beer."
Student: "Just like my father's company!"

Me: "Burns can be really bad. For example, my brother once set himself on fire with gasoline and-"
Student: "TEACHER, YOUR BROTHER DEAD???"
Me: "No, he didn't die-"
Student: "TEACHER, YOUR BROTHER RETARDED????"

Student: "Teacher, I think anorexic people are stupid. Food is delicious." 

Me: "For example, if I cut off Justin's arm-"
Students: "TEACHER, WHY YOU WANT TO KILL JUSTIN? TEACHER, YOU SO EVIL!"

Student: "Call me Chocolate Peter."
Other Student: "Call me Street Riding Peter."

Student: "I think crime is good because you can get money and then get girlfriend."
Me: "What happens to your girlfriend when you're caught and you go to jail?"
Student: "I think is okay. She will have my car and be happy."

Well, that's all I have for now. This is almost entirely from my first week of classes. I love these kids. In conclusion, here's a nice picture of Fall in Korea.

And by Fall, I actually mean a few yellow leaves and a truck delivering the daily supply of beer.