When my students aren't saying ridiculous things, they're drawing pictures for their class presentations. I encourage them to draw pictures each class, and I tape these to walls. The kids really enjoy it. Those who are nervous about speaking in front of the class can at least put their efforts into a picture. It's a good way to use their imaginations, their classmates like it, the pictures add nice atmosphere to the classroom, and it gives them a feeling of pride to see their artwork on display. That being said, sometimes they draw...interesting things. I present to you...
Things My Students Draw
This tomato man just wanted a job. Instead, he was repeated shot and blown to hell with a giant grenade.
The tomato man is actually my favorite picture. It has nothing to do with anything discussed in class. This student drew it on the back of his vocab test and gave it to me as a present at the end of class. He is incredibly adorable. He comes to class early, just so he can show me Korean webcomics on my Galaxy tab.
The assignment was to invent a disease.
The most important fact about this disease: It goes to your butt.
When you tell a group of boys that they can invent any disease they want, beware. These boys searched for every disgusting word they could find and used them all to describe this disease, which was created by terrorists to kill people in the year 2476. It is spread through smelly farts.
Psy, doing the invisible horse dance.
This assignment was to present on awesome things from Korean culture. This class was particularly fun because most of the students ended up performing their favorite Korean pop songs. It not only amused me and their classmates, but also amused our neighbors because the rousing "Heeeeeeeey, sexy lady" chorus was loud enough to penetrate walls.
Stay tuned for more updates, as I photograph more priceless student works.
While my life in Korea is pretty fabulous, I cannot say it is always so. For example, when my favorite television show takes a turn for the terrible, this upsets me greatly. Warning, this contains spoilers and vast amounts of horrible nerd rage. So you're probably better off skipping it. In fact, I don't know why I'm writing this. Probably because this is the age of the internet and that's how we take out our anger these days.
The writing this season has been pretty terrible, and the writing of the show in general seems to have become incredibly lazy. And they keep getting away with it. I've made a list. I hope you enjoy it. Please excuse me if I start foaming at the mouth or my writing becomes completely incomprehensible.
1. Create rules. Then break them. Then distract the viewers with a love story.
Let's talk about "Angels Take Manhattan". There were many problems with this episode, and the most obvious one involves the use of the angels themselves. The episode in which the angels first appeared, "Blink", still remains one of my favorite episodes. It had all of the elements of a good horror story, combined with good characters, and, most importantly, a set of rules. When you're dealing with science fiction or fantasy, it's essential to create rules that govern your universe and the creatures that populate it. The angels are deadly, but they do have weaknesses. If anything, even another angel, is looking at it, the angel cannot move. Then, because the angels were so cool, Moffat decided to revisit them in the very poor choice that was "The Time of Angels". Maybe Moffat doesn't know this yet, but sometimes when you have something really cool, it's best to use it sparingly. That's why the Daleks do not appear in every episode. I digress. They added more rules to make the angels scarier. Now, even an image of an angel becomes an angel.
So by those rules, let's think about "Angels Take Manhattan". The Statue of Liberty is revealed to be an angel. First of all, I find it very hard to believe that there's ever a time when no one is looking at the Statue. It's lit up at night and it's the most famous landmark of New York City. Second, and, more importantly, if every image of an angel becomes an angel, that means that every picture or miniature of Lady Liberty is also an angel, which means that the entire earth should be one giant time distortion because we're being constantly zapped back in time by our touristy souvenirs. Also, the angels were looking at each other almost continually throughout the episode. By that rule alone, almost none of the action of the story could have happened. But all of this gets ignored by the love story of Amy and Rory and how oh-so-tragic their exit is. Spare me, Moffat. I would have shed a lot more tears if your plot holes weren't the size of Manhattan.
2. Consistency of Character???
Quick! Name one thing the Doctor consistently avoids and has avoided for almost his entire life. Was it murder? Congratulations! You know the character better than Moffat does! While the Doctor has killed his share of evil aliens, it's always after giving them a choice to redeem themselves. He always gives them a choice. Change your ways, leave this planet and these people alone...or else. It's when the evil aliens laugh in his face that the Doctor kicks their asses into the Land of Eternal Suffering. For example, remember what the Doctor did in "The Family of Blood"? The villains wanted to be immortal. So he made them immortal...so they could suffer for their crimes for eternity. That is why the Doctor is awesome. He never loses his temper and kills people, even if they deserve it. And yet, the Matt Smith Doctor, under the direction of some terrible writing has been doing just that. In this season alone, he's done that several times. He outright murdered the smuggler in "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship". In "Asylum of the Daleks", the Doctor let the Daleks commit genocide on their own people AND let a character die because even though she was human on the inside, she was still Dalek on the outside. So basically the Doctor let something die because it looked Dalek. This is quite different, if you recall, from season one's "Dalek", in which the Doctor shows pity for his enemy. Then we get to "A Town Called Mercy" in which the Doctor tries to murder a man. So what happened to the Doctor?
3. Overuse:
Moffat can write things, but only in small quantities. He wrote "Blink", "Silence in the Library", and "The Girl in the Fireplace", all three of which happen to be excellent stand-alone episodes. My conclusion is that Moffat can write good small stories, but when it comes to planning an entire season, he's terrible. Instead of writing new material, he returns to previous ideas and expands on them. River Song was really cool in "Silence in the Library", but the more Moffat used her, the more annoying and confusing she became. Do you remember the episode "Let's Kill Hitler"? I try not to because then I remember that River Song was supposedly Amy's best friend growing up, even though she's never mentioned in a single episode up until that point or after.
4. Setting:
For a SCIENCE FICTION show that has all of time and space as its backdrop, the settings have become incredibly narrow. The benefit of science fiction is that you can create any sort of civilization you want and use that civilization to examine morality, social norms, or just have an awesome adventure. Aliens running amok in London is fun, but any science fiction show can cover that. In fact, that's exactly what Torchwood does. The best episodes of Doctor Who take place on distant planets in distant times with characters who may not even be human. When humans are the stars of each episode, you start to forget how vast and awesome the universe supposedly is. Last season's crown jewel, "The Doctor's Wife" was a masterpiece written by Neil Gaiman and featured long-dead timelords, a sentient planet that eats TARDISes, and prolonged conversation between the Doctor and his TARDIS personified as a woman. (By the way, the romance between the Doctor and his TARDIS is so much more believable than anything with River Song. In fact, River comes off as a desperate attention-whore by comparison.) If you make a show about how awesome and exciting alien life is, which stars an alien who's sole principle and goal in life is to observe and respect all alien life, and then you surround him with human characters all the time and give priority to those human characters, your show becomes decidedly xenophobic.
5. Laziness and Making Sense:
There's only so many times you can rely on the power of love to solve your problems. In classic Doctor Who, "reverse the polarity" used to be their solution to various problems. It was silly, but it worked because SCIENCE. Now it's a wave of the sonic screwdriver 2.0 and the power of love. Stop it, Moffat. You can't pull miracles and solutions to time paradoxes out of your ass. And you can't wave the magic love wand and resurrect the Doctor while simultaneously killing him and marrying him to the psychologically scarred, previously brainwashed by mysterious evil people daughter/childhood best friend of your companions. In the strange universe where Moffat lives, that sentence just made sense.
If you still aren't convinced, look back at previous seasons. Many fans complained that Russell T. Davies had made the Doctor too much of a romantic interest. They were outraged when the Doctor developed feelings for Rose because in the history of the show, the Doctor had been decidedly uninterested in those sorts of things. But even if you disagreed with the decision to let the Doctor fall in love, there was the satisfaction of a coherent storyline. Romance was secondary to a good story. Bad Wolf still blows my mind. And don't even get me started on the glorious majesty of season three and the Saxon vote. The characters had depth and their own personal story arcs, but the show still knew what it was about. It wasn't about melodrama or how much of the universe you can destroy in a single episode. It was about telling a good story in the Doctor Who tradition.
Finally, "The Power of Three" was a terrible episode. You cannot bring people back to life fifteen minutes after they've collapsed from cardiac arrest.
For your patience, here's a music video by the band Muse. It has cyborgs and cowboys and is way better than "A Town Called Mercy". Enjoy. Also, sorry that the still for this video is dirty.
Just a brief update today, in case anyone (probably no one) was wondering if I'd died or disappeared or somehow wandered into North Korea and become personal friend of the Dear Leader or become bored with this and decided to run away to join the circus. None of these potentially terrible things have happened! In fact, I've been super busy. My weekends I still spend doing fun things, though most of those fun things now involve looking at fabulous clothing and wishing my paycheck were coming sooner, and my weekdays are still spent shaping young minds.
Well, sort of shaping young minds. Today, I present to you:
Things My Students Say
When discussing AIDS:
"Teacher...I wish I had AIDS. I really really want AIDS."
This gem came from one of my wise-ass students who sits in the back drinking Sprite, pretending he's a badass. He is not, but he gets an A for effort. He sort of undermines his badass status by getting perfect scores on his quizzes.
When discussing the Harlem Renaissance:
"Teacher, I think you really like black people."
"Well, yes. I like all people."
"Really???"
On the topic of racism:
Me: "...so that is why racism is bad."
Students: "Teacher, I think racism is okay because it is okay to hate the Japanese because they are terrible."
"Yes! We should kill them all!"
"We should bomb them!"
"No, we should NUKE THEM!"
"THE JAPANESE ARE EVIL!!"
Randomly:
Student:"Teacher, are you rich?"
Me: "Ha. No."
"Really?? But you dress so well!"
When discussing disease:
Me: "So, what would you do if you were the leader of a country and the neighboring country had a very serious disease killing its population. How would you protect your country?"
Student: "KILL THE NEIGHBORS!!"
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That's all I have time to do for now. I will update this again later. I must go teach now!
Well hey there, world! How are you today? Fine? Good! I am too! In fact, I'm going to tell you just how very fine I am.
This past Saturday was pretty great. Sarah and I continued our tradition of exploring Seoul by heading over to Seoul Tower (also known as Namsan Tower), which is on the top of a mountain in the middle of Seoul. It's the highest point in the city, and from its top you can see the entire city. Or rather, you can see a lot of the city until it all fades into the horizon. You don't realize how enormous Seoul is until you're up there and realize that it's all city in every direction as far as you can see.
The Han River cutting right through the city.
Also amazing is the geography of Seoul. The entire city is surrounded by mountains, making it incredibly easy to defend. They even use that to their advantage today, as the presidential residence, The Blue House, is also up against a mountain.
Check out those sweet mountains!
We spent most of our time in the tower admiring the view and trying to see if we could find Gangnam. We could. It was the place with the highest and coolest buildings. I'd like to believe that I have embraced the Gangnam Style. These days I dress quite classy and dance even cheesier. Just ask the poor people who have to watch me dance whenever Gangnam Style plays (which is more often than I'm comfortable admitting).
But I digress. In addition to climbing the tower, we also hung around the mountain to get some culture. There's a belief that if you go to the top of Namsan Mountain with your significant other and attach a lock to something up there, your love with be forever unbroken. And so, there are locks everywhere.
That used to be a fence.
I think it's kind of cheesy, but Koreans seem to love couple-related things. Anniversaries are a huge deal here, and you'll often see couples who go so far as to dress in matching outfits when they go out together. The truly committed couple can purchase matching shirts, shoes, socks, backpacks, and even underwear. And when looking the same as your beloved isn't enough, there's always locking your love into place on top of a mountain.
On the less romantic side, and way more awesome side, we also saw traditional music and weapons demonstrations. The coolest thing about the music was that the performers had ribbons on top of their hats. While playing their instruments, they would dance in such a way that would cause the ribbons to move around in patterns. It was really quite impressive to watch.
Now imagine those ribbons twirling around and around!
After the music, the guys with weapons came out and showed us why Korea is awesome and you should not attack it. On display were a variety of spears, swords, and spears with sword blades. They proceeded to first, chop up pieces of bamboo in rapid succession. Then, when that wasn't enough, they decided to attack each other with sharp weapons and pretend to die. It was both gruesome and beautiful. It was the most patriotic thing I have ever seen.
Behold the glorious dead!
Our day's sightseeing over, we decided to slowly make our way to dinner in Myeongdong via a few coffee shops and a refreshing walk. Seoul life really agrees with the way I operate, as food and coffee seem to be top priorities everywhere.
Phew, time passes quickly when you're running around like a crazy person. Last time we saw our intrepid adventurers, it was the end of a successful Saturday and the dawn of a brand new Sunday. Let's see where they are now!
Sunday was equally as interesting as Saturday, if not more so. My day started off at around 4:30 am, when I awoke in order to watch Notre Dame defeat the Boilermakers. When the game ended at around 8:15, it was time to go to church. As it turns out, there are tons of churches in Seoul. As much as I love the cathedral, it is unfortunately about an hour's train ride away from where I live. Even though the Mass is always worth it, that is quite a commitment, especially at 8 am. So I decided to check out the Catholic church that's less than ten minutes of walking from my apartment. Incidentally, this church was recommended by one of those excellent connections one makes at Notre Dame. A good friend from choir, who also lives in Gangnam, told me about this place. Unfortunately, she had never seen the English Mass offered at this particular church.
The English Mass was, to put it gently (or not), pretty terrible. It was very...California. Don't get me wrong. The people, just like California, were incredibly nice. The moment Mass was over, I was shuttled off to share coffee and pastries with an odd assortment of Koreans (and Californians) who were all incredibly excited to see me there. Next thing I knew, they wanted to go to lunch and talk about life. But, alas, a nice community does not make up for a terrible Mass.
Perhaps I am spoiled by a lifetime of proper liturgical practices. Perhaps I know too much about what Mass is supposed to look like. Perhaps I care too deeply about music. I shouldn't complain. I really shouldn't. But when the guitar-keyboard duo started performing some horrible praise-band fluff and when the congregation started reading the gospel together like some horrible iteration of a grade school reading class, I knew that my brief flirtation with anything other than Myeongdong Cathedral was over. I never thought I would find something worse than the Steve Warner "Our Father". I was wrong. So long, Yeoksam parish.
Once I had successfully quenched my rage-flames, I headed off to Heongdae to meet a friend. As the intersecting neighborhood of several universities, Heongdae is the model of what a college downtown should look like. It has everything. Shopping, food, music, cute little craft booths selling things made by poor art majors... There's even some pretty sweet graffiti. Naomi and I started out by wandering around and doing a little shopping, but eventually ended up stalking the members of a grungy metal band because the one guy had a mohawk of epic proportions. This led us to the least likely of places. It led us to a cat cafe. (No, the metal guys did not go to the cat cafe, although that would have been adorable and reminiscent of a certain TV show about a death metal band and a certain member who really likes cats...)
In case you're wondering what a cat cafe is, it's exactly what it sounds like. It is a cafe where you drink coffee and play with cats. Here. I'll show you a picture.
This is the face of true happiness.
THERE IS A CAT INSIDE OF MY PURSE!!!
Can you imagine anything better than this? I cannot. If this does not warm your heart, I kindly request that you go back to whichever circle of hell you escaped from, you creature of Satan.
After several hours of playing with cats, I realized that my allergies were about to punish me, and decided that I must take my leave...until next time. I am definitely going back this weekend. I think that when I return to America, I must make this a reality. What is wrong with America that we do not already have cat cafes? This would be good for everyone! Depressed? Lonely? Wish you could have a pet, but can't due to living arrangements? Go to a cat cafe! What? Cats aren't your thing? Let's have a dog cafe too. And let's not forget that socialization and endless quantities of love would be great for lonely animals too. I...I am getting too excited here. I need to finish this post and calm down.
Anyway, after the cat cafe, we wandered around for a bit until we stumbled upon the strangest sight these eyes have yet seen in Korea. It was some sort of strange art festival...in the middle of the street. I'm sorry. Did I call it art? It was mostly performance art of the crazy Yoko Ono variety. There was a man who made nonsense noises while squirting paint all over a car tire, which he then rubbed all over his body to confused applause. There was also a barefoot, dancing Beethoven look-alike. Then there was a man drawing pictures on the asphalt with olive oil. Considering his art actually looked cool, I'd say he was the only one present who had any talent. When he got tired of drawing, he sat down on the sidewalk and proceeded to smoke while holding a stethoscope up to a hunk of rock.
Is this art? Who knows.
Oh, I forgot to mention the cars. Here is a sample.
Hello again. Tarico here, bringing you the latest from Korea. I've survived my second week of teaching, and already it's feeling pretty good. Of course, just as I'm getting comfortable, the kids have decided that now is the time to get crazy and test my limits. Bring it on, kids. Bring. It. On.
This weekend has been quite an adventure! I'll do my best to tell you about it without making you too jealous.
On Saturday, I heaved myself out of bed and headed off to meet my excellent and wonderful friend Sarah at Gyeongbokgung Palace, which, if the the word palace doesn't clue you in to it, is the former palace of the Korean kings and queens. Unfortunately, due to the Japanese occupation and the chaos following that period, there is no longer any royal family, and a good portion of the palace buildings are reproductions of the originals. But before I get into that, let me tell you about Great King Sejong.
Look at his beneficence!
Great King Sejong was indeed pretty great, and is therefore one of Korea's greatest historical figures. What did he do, you ask? Not that much...except that he invented the Korean alphabet and reigned over Korea in relative peace, despite the best efforts of the Japanese to make him mad. Hangul, the Korean alphabet, in case you were wondering, is one of the simplest, most straightforward alphabets in existence. This is quite achievement, especially when you consider the fact that before hangul, the Koreans were using Chinese characters to write.
Now let me tell you about Admiral Yi Sunshin.
Just try and invade Korea. I dare you.
Yi Sunshin is a national hero of Korea due to his defense of Korea's coast from the Japanese navy. Vastly outnumbered, he outmaneuvered and almost completely destroyed the Japanese navy. In the midst of the last battle of the campaign, Sunshin died of a bullet wound, but not before making sure the battle was a complete victory. In addition to using superior tactics and having a good understanding of the terrain, Sunshin used what are called "turtle boats", boats that basically look like turtles, but can move and fire quickly. To make a very obscure and nerdy reference, he was the Yang Wenli of Korea.
After learning about Korea's national heroes, Sarah and I headed over to the palace. Magnificent. Brilliant. Unfortunately, my camera died quickly after entering, so most of my pictures are on my phone and must therefore wait until a better time to be uploaded. Let me see if I can describe it. Inside of the gates is an enormous courtyard with a stream running through the middle. Once through the courtyard, you reach another building. This magnificent building is the throne room.
The throne room from the side. Note the mountains in the back.
Of course, the throne room isn't the only thing here. If you keep walking through various courtyards, you'll find the party pavilion, a giant structure in the middle of a lake, where the kings used to have parties (duh). One of the coolest aspects of the architecture at the palace, was the heating system. During the summer, the sides of the building can be slid back or even pulled up, so as to allow a breeze. But what about during those super cold Korean winters? Well, did you ever notice how the building are up on blocks above the ground? That isn't just for aesthetics. There are small chambers under the floor, where servants would light fires. The fires would heat the stone floors and keep the rooms warm. Brilliant.
Another cool thing I saw was an island in the middle of a lake with a narrow bridge running between the island and the shore. There was a small structure in the middle of the island, where the kings could go to pray in solitude. Here's a picture I took on my phone and doctored using instagram.
Beautiful, isn't it?
On our way out of the palace, we came across an orchestra that was performing using only traditional Korean instruments. It was...interesting. I think it was beautiful and with a little training I could probably learn to appreciate it. However, to me it sounded very strange. One instrument in particular stood out as sounding exactly how I imagine a Korean bagpipe would sound.
After the orchestra concert was over, we headed over to Hapjeong to meet up with one of Sarah's friends, a really awesome and talented Korean artist who hangs out at a hipster cafe called Flat Bean. This woman speaks perfect Japanese, which is fortunate, since I can finally practice my Japanese. We ended up drinking so truly excellent coffee and then getting invited to play billiards with some of her friends. Let the record show that although I have never played billiards before, I managed to learn it (and proper technique) from a man who speaks no English. Cultural learnings, ftw!
Unfortunately, I have to go to work now, so the rest of my weekend adventures will have to wait for a later date. Until then, ta ta!
Now that the first week of teaching is over (just in time for me to start the next one!), it's time to take a short breather and relax to a nice, refreshing blog post. Since my last communication, I have come up against two very pressing issues. Those problems involve technology and age. Those two problems are not related, by the way.
Korea being the most wired, technology-obsessed country in the world, one would think that Koreans would have learned by the now what constitutes a good program or operating system and what constitutes a terrible crime against humanity. Can you guess where this is going? I didn't think it was possible...but everyone here uses Internet Explorer. Exclusively. Do you use Safari, Firefox, or Chrome? Good luck using your internet for anything other than updating your Facebook status. Do you use Mac? Good luck doing ANYTHING AT ALL. Linux? They will laugh in your face and tell you to go back to the insane asylum you clearly escaped from. (Probably. I don't speak Korean.) Chungdahm is a great place, but their biggest flaw, one that perhaps I will forgive them for only through the grace of God, is that their online system only works on Internet Explorer. Every time I need to sign in, access class materials, or even take attendance, I must first touch Internet Explorer. I feel so dirty.
Well this is awkward.
But there's more than just that. One of the many perks of working at an awesome, well-funded, constantly improving institution of learning is that they're always trying out new ways to educate students. Chungdahm's newest innovation involves tablets. Though we haven't yet started using them in the classroom, my branch decided that the teachers might as well start familiarizing themselves with the technology. And so on Thursday, we received our brand freaking new Samsung Galaxy tablets! Our only order was to have fun. And so we did. I've already started using it during listening classes because it plays audio clips so much better than the PC in my classroom, which has a nasty habit of turning off when I need it most. Perhaps you are wondering what the problem is.
Korea is the land of Samsung. Do you see where this is going? My Mac and my tablet refuse to speak to each other. It's as though the products themselves know their creators' minds. My excitement at having a new personal entertainment system quickly faded into frustration when I realized that neither of my awesome, shiny technological miracles would acknowledge the existence of the other. Is this what it's like to use Linux?
So that's technology. The other problem concerns age. You see, according to Korean measurements of age, I am actually 24. In fact, even though I turned 23 yesterday, I am still 24. But I will be 25 once the new year rolls around. Confused? Yeah, me too. You see, Korean culture is uncomfortable with the idea of someone being less than a year old. So when one is born, one is actually one year old. But it's not just that! You see, age is very important in a Confucian society. And therefore, one's age in relation to others must always be the same. If I were two months younger than another person, it would not be proper for me to level up and be on the same level as that person until they had another birthday. To fix this problem, everyone levels up at the same time. So it doesn't matter when one's birthday is. One will only gain an extra year at the new year. Were you born on December 31st? Congratulations. By day two of your life, you will be two years old. And that is how I became 24 years old.
Here's an obligatory photo of me with the largest pot of bibimbop ever.
